That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won’t be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. The submissive never knows ‘exactly’ what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. It could even involve humiliation and standing in the corner like a berated child.
For others, it’s bondage and/or spanking and/or kink. If he doesn’t rise to the challenge, it’s actually a turn-off to me.įor some people, this is where S&M comes into play. If he catches it - and I always kind of hope he will - I need to know he will ‘put in my place’ through some kind of “punishment/discipline” that we both somehow, on some level, enjoy. Poking at my Dom, testing him, trying to break his rules and, in some ways, undermine his masculinity, brings me great pleasure. This is where “Delaine The Brat” comes out in the D/s relationship - and boy does she love to push. Maybe it’s my upper middle-class, good girl upbringing at work, I don’t know.īut some parts of me itch to go outside the lines, and those parts are bitchy, aggressive, sly, daring, bold, manipulative, and even, I’d say, immature. For the most part, I’m pretty straight-laced: responsible, hard-working, kind, thoughtful, capable, organized, (boring). I have many different aspects to my personality. I can only explain this from my perspective, so I’ll have to back up a bit: I’ve heard of “punishment and discipline” being used in D/s relationships: What does that look like? Through the D/s dynamic, I not only feel more alive and aware of my sexuality/sensuality, I learn and own more of myself.
Us health dom life full#
All the while I feel with my mind, heart and full body, the anticipation, the fear, the exposure, my power, his control and protection, desire and love. The words, the orders, the reprimands, the tone and the downright audacity for him to say it all: Never would I allow anyone else to speak to me in this way, or, over all, to have such deep access into my mind, body and heart.Īnd I hear myself responding in ways that similarly shock me - from mouthy and totally improper to meek and pleasing or with no air in my lungs at all.
What appeals to me the most is the intense cerebral connection - the mind play and the feelings it conjures in me, sometimes all day long (the brain is, after all, the biggest sex organ). Here are the answers to the most popular questions I’ve been asked. With so much controversy and misinformation, which I’ve written about before, out there around what D/s is and isn’t, I want to offer up a glimpse into the REAL world of D/s.
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